PMonkIsTrying #16

A PROCEEDING OF SOME AMBASSADORS

My father-in-law, Carl,(may he rest) was a long suffering school administrator, in a contentious district. He used to say that everyone had an opinion about what needed to happen because either they’d been to school themselves, or knew someone who had. I am reminded of this when I read Montaigne’s observation of blowhards- For it often falls out that, on the contrary, every one will rather choose to be prating of another man’s province than his own, thinking it so much new reputation acquired; Apparently the need to wax knowledgeable upon subjects that your audience actually knows more about than you do is nothing new. See: Mansplaining. Indeed, Montaigne cites his buddy Plutarch citing even more ancient observers of human nature: witness the jeer Archidamus put upon Pertander, “that he had quitted the glory of being an excellent physician to gain the repute of a very bad poet. — [Plutarch, Apoth. of the Lacedaemonians, ‘in voce’ Archidamus.] — What it means to me is that men have been mansplaining for ever, not just to women, but to other men. It’s a thing that people do, who have a need to underscore their superiority. Some people have to be the smartest person in the room, whatever room they are in, whether or not they are actually the smartest person in the room. Montaigne prefers to listen to others, and pay attention when they talk or write about topics in which they have demonstrated ability or expertise. At least that’s what he says he does. Do know-it-alls actually realize that’s what they are? But on the other side of the equation, what if a person knows does know more than another who isn’t going to be very happy to hear it? Like if you have a boss who tells you to proceed in a certain manner that you know is not the best? Your choices are 1. Do what the boss tells you, and hope that the blame doesn’t fall on you when it turns out bad, 2. Take the initiative, hope it works out, if it does, a take the credit, or b, let your boss think it was her idea if it doesn’t figure you’re in trouble either way. I’ve never really had bosses in that kick up, kick down manner. I’m a teacher, and teachers have a great deal of creative autonomy. I admit, I haven’t been in K-12 since 1999, which means I left before the era of high stakes testing, but when I taught in Ithaca, a teacher friendly district, and my teaching now at PSU, I’m expected to figure out how to advance student learning, without a great deal of micro-management. So when Montaigne talks about Crassus, a Roman consul who punishes a Greek engineer for choosing a smaller ship’s mast to make a battering ram — the consul wanted a larger one, but the engineer felt it was less suited to the purpose at hand- but Crassus, though he gave ear to his reasons with great patience, would not, however, take them, how sound or convincing soever, for current pay, but caused him to be well whipped for his pains, valuing the interest of discipline much more than that of the work in hand. Montaigne is talking about something I have never had to face, the need to be kept in line, to be disciplined no matter how good my idea was, that chain of command was more important. OK, I will admit that I have engaged, even initiated what passes for knock down drag outs over the use of certain worksheets, or whether this chapter book or that would be ordered for our reading classes, but those fights were among organizational peers who were expected to come to a consensus. I’ve never been well whipped for my pains, if anything, the people who would be considered my superiors usually have valued my contributions enough to rehire me. I’ve been lucky, I admit that freely. Also, I do choose my battles, sometimes it’s better to let things go, even if you know they are wrong headed, or that there is a much better way. Diplomacy is not just for career diplomats, in some ways, once we grow up and get out in the world, we are all career diplomats if we are going to get by. We emulate the French ambassadors who when faced with the task of telling the King of France that Emperor Charles the V of Rome had emphatically impugned the abilities of the entire French armed forces and as also, that he challenged the King to fight him in his shirt with rapier and poignard in a boat, elected not to bring it up at all. Should they have used such discretion? Montaigne would rather have his meaning sent clearly through his ambassadors, if he had any, which he didn’t. And I don’t either, so whether or not I would punish underlings who take it upon themselves to either misrepresent my meaning or filter the news according to their judgment is a theoretical, unlikely conundrum. But I guess I’d like the news straight.
Once I had a dear friend tell me she worried about my driving, that I was bound to have an accident, maybe I should get checked for neurological impairment. I was pretty stunned by her concern, really I’ve never once gotten a ticket in my ENTIRE LIFE, for a moving violation, and when I do get honked it’s because I’m not going fast enough. I knew if I asked my children and their spouses I’d get a straight answer. This was their unanimous reaction. Mom, you’ve been driving like an old lady your whole life, you’ve always been a crappy driver. Don’t worry, we won’t let you drive our kids around if we thought it was unsafe. Once I got over the shock that I was not universally admired for my expertise, I was grateful to find they were 1. willing to tell me their thoughts and 2. demonstrate their support. As for my friend, she was being honest too, in that case, I just let her do all the driving when we do things that require transport, win win for me.